• Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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    10 days ago

    fixing yourself is impossible since their is no template for what fixed looks like.

    This is nonsense. Self-improvement is possible based on your own or societal standards.

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      9 days ago

      what they mean by that is “there is only an increasingly less problematic state” you can be in, you cannot achieve “perfection” there is no “correct” model, there are only “ideal models” which cannot be achieved, and merely working towards that, is good enough

      People are flawed, some people work through those flaws, some people work around those flaws, and some people just live with them. You cannot get rid of them however, they will forever be a part of your lived experience, and necessarily influencing your psyche. Whether for good or bad, it’s always present.

    • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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      10 days ago

      Society does not have the end-all of best of humanity in mind. Often it just means productive at work and cares little for your well being.

      You can self improve but that’s not fixing anything. That’s just getting better at not being a burden to others. But the burden is the point. We are all in it together and are a burden on each other. But we do it anyways.

      Don’t tell people that they can be “fixed” that is nonsense and just makes them feel more of a burden without the kindness.

      • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        The burden is not the point. You should be improving people’s lives, not making them worse. Unless by “burden” you mean like the mundane parts of dealing with living with other people, which is not what I’m talking about.

        • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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          10 days ago

          I do mean the little things. But it also is the big ones. A loved one can need you to help them do paperwork, or they could be dying of an incurable disease and raging against the end.

          I’m saying expecting everyone to work to make your life easier to be around them ignores that everyone has their own issues to deal with and we are constantly impacting each other.

          It’s good to work on yourself and we all should but expecting it as the only way to be around people is not reasonable for how humanity is. We are flawed emotional creatures.

          We burden those we love in lots of ways waiting on them to be fixed to show love doesn’t make it seem like you loved them at all. You love people knowing they can change not waiting until they do.

          • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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            10 days ago

            Ok, but I didn’t say it was the only way to be around people. You said that it was impossible.

            I think what you’re meaning to say is right, but what you’re actually saying isn’t consistent so it can’t be as right as you’re trying to express.

            • Krauerking@lemy.lol
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              10 days ago

              You can’t be someone else. It’s impossible to look at someone else as the perfect human and tell everyone else to be like them.

              That’s the impossible.

              Life is complex. Speaking about it does not make it less so. It’s hard (if not impossible) to get the words that mean what I think in my head to mean the same to others.

              My point is as consistent as it can be. Give love, don’t wait for people to be better to do so. Look out for yourself sure, but don’t avoid burdens for ease of a gentler life.

              • Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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                10 days ago

                Yeah, agreed.

                You can’t be someone else. It’s impossible to look at someone else as the perfect human and tell everyone else to be like them.

                That’s the impossible.

                Totally. Self-improvement isn’t about becoming someone else, it’s about becoming a better version of yourself.