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Let’s just hope Randy Marsh doesn’t go fuck a pangolin again
Let’s just hope Randy Marsh doesn’t go fuck a pangolin again
Sci fi set in contemporary times on Earth. A spaceship from another dimension accidentally enters a freak wormhole and gets dumped off in our universe. Only a single human survived on the ship, augmented by some super fancy AI (that actually works reliably unlike what we have access to nowadays). Captain isn’t able to maintain orbit but is able to land out in the middle of the south Pacific. Captain & AI have no way to return to their home universe or even send a message.
Ship contains a lot of advanced technology. Captain knows the theory of it all but doesn’t know the details. Ship’s AI has schematics for everything on board but not for everything in the civilization they left - only the most commonly used parts.
Ship contains a perfectly efficient recycler and replicator, but it’s limited by speed and by internal volume of the replicator.
Ship has a medbay capable of treating any known disease or injury, but there are only four pods (normal crew size only needs four), and treating something severe like a heart attack or cancer requires a full week non-stop.
Ship isn’t designed for combat or passenger service, but is instead a giant mining ship equipped with tractor beams to facilitate harvesting ore in space. It’s about the size of a giant ore carrier from Earth, and does have some rudimentary point defense weapons to defend against space pirates.
Ship has some problems that make it temporarily not-spaceworthy, and may or may not be able to find all the raw materials it needs to repair itself for more spaceflight. It is however perfectly capable of atmospheric flight operations.
How does the captain interact with us? Is the ship able to find enough stuff to repair itself? Does the captain decide to trade favors for supplies that can’t be synthesized? Or does the captain spiral into a pit of despair at being irrevocably separated from their home?
In case you’re wondering, yes I do as a matter of fact enjoy tech uplift stories.
Late fall - gets cool enough at night that I sleep really well, without being so cold throughout the day that my toes get cold.
Depends on my mood. If I’m feeling good I’m usually pretty nice, but if I’m hangry then I get not-nice.
What the fuck are you talking about? The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you do not. Also, Dude, “Chinaman” is not the preferred nomenclature. “Asian-American” please.
I shave once per week. I use a safety razor and no shaving cream while in the shower.
Once saw one that had a picture of Benydink Cumbersquatch as Sherlock with a caption like
May the Force be ever in your favor, Mr Potter
Gandalf in The Chronicles of Narnia
Taylor Swift. She’s cute I guess but her music is the audio equivalent of a lukewarm stale glass of milk.
Country Cathy?
I never had a Fark account but I remember following them religiously. I remember something about them crowdfunding an arena name for a day about an unsolicited finger in the ass.
Same. Keeping the details purposefully vague even though the statute of limitations has long since expired.
I was out with friends having fun and actually stayed at the bar until they turned on the lights at closing and kicked us all out. I knew I was drunk but figured I should hit up the Taco Bell on the other side of the parking lot and eat in my car. Surely that would soak up enough alcohol to sober me up, right? I recall taking the most direct route possible to get back home, keeping my speed just below the limit. No cruise control so I had to focus as much as possible when it’s late, you’re tired and drunk and have a stomach full of grease.
The middle portion of the drive home was on a single long major arterial surface street. Luckily there weren’t any red lights since I doubt I could’ve stopped in time. The most terrifying moment was when I saw a cop car approaching me from behind. As I had a mild panic attack, he passed me up, didn’t turn on his lights, and went about his evening.
The rest of the trip home was uneventful. I got home safely, swore to myself I’d never be that stupid again, went to bed, and woke up the next morning probably still reeking of cigarette smoke and booze.
This is the single thing I am most ashamed of that I’ve ever done in my entire life. It’s more shameful than the time I lost my cool and shouted the n word at a kid when we were in middle school. It’s more shameful than the time I walked around high school with an unknown to me giant rip in my pants that let everyone see my sponge bob undies. It’s more shameful than when my dad caught me beating my meat to a Runner’s World magazine because I couldn’t find a Playboy.
I am very lucky that the cop just passed me by. I am very lucky that I didn’t have to drunk call my family at 4am to come bail me out of jail. I am very very lucky that I didn’t hurt myself or someone else.
True to my word, I’ve never done it again. I don’t drink at all any more, and even when I still did, I had a very strict two drink limit for myself if I was driving.
I don’t think I’ve ever even mentioned this when I’ve been in therapy. I’ve been in a relationship for over a decade and I’ve never even told my partner about it.
So yeah Lemmy. Learn from my mistake. Please. If you plan to get fucked up, have a safe ride home that doesn’t involve you driving.
While on a school trip, I ate a lot at a greasy buffet, then we went to a theme park. After one ride I managed not to barf but I wound up spending the remaining time in the park laying down on a bench trying to control my nausea.
Parents: “son its ok if you’re gay, we know its hard being different in a small town like this but youre still our child and we will always love you no matter what”
Me: “mom, dad, i’m not gay.”
Mom: “really? you sure about that?”
Dad: “you’ve literally never had a girlfriend and would be the only straight guy in town who hasnt. hell even most of the gay kids have had a beard at some point.”
Me: “i’m not gay… i’m just horribly depressed and have zero self esteem.”
Mom: “shit. whoops. i suppose we better find you a therapist then.”
Me: crawls into a hole and dies of embarrassment
And the presenter will regularly quiz attendees on the content
Is this meme template from an actual Star Trek thing? Every time I’ve seen it, it comes across as a still from a Scary Movie-style parody.
Nice. I also noticed Cranberry-Lemon U instead of the real-life Carnegie-Mellon U in the PGH.