I have never seen one and I am very jealous :(

“yard sard” kind of appeals to me tbh. I’d like to know what goes on at a yard sard, it intrigues me

“Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies.”

They saved money by not using special effects, they just hired a real terminator to do those shots

“Yoshi” is a lie created by the CIA. His real name is Alfonso Alfredo and I was friends with him as a child. Even then I knew something was off about the kid, always carrying around those weird eggs. How was I supposed to know where he was getting them?

Some people might say that you shouldn’t judge a people based on the actions of one person but what about the time that I was twelve years old and the entire past, present, and future population of Italy kicked down my door and stole my lunch money?? How do you account for that? You cannot!

One day I sat down and I started jerking. Some people liked the cut of my jerks so I’ve just kept jerking and growing stronger and now I’m so snailpilled that I may keep jerking forever and ever amen

What a distinguished gentleman! A fine fellow indeed!

Y’know those greenscreen suits? The government pays people to go around in those and shove things. That’s why all the plants are green, it’s so they can greenscreen the shovers out!

She’s just like me fr fr (she’s not like me actually because I am not full of money (I am poor))

I can hear this image and it hurts

Today was pretty shit but there were some parts of it that were neat and I want others to be able to cherish more of the parts that were neat

I do this when it’s hot because the floor is cool and it makes me cooler by association

No! NO! That’s not fucking true you take that back! That can’t be true oh fuck. No!

I need my fans in order to sleep. Their worship is what sets my mind at ease. If I am not lulled into slumber by their jubilant adorations I will wake with a great and terrible vengeance to wreak havoc upon this ungrateful earth

One time I stepped on a banana peel but kept my balance so I just kept sliding. Each day I walk uphill to work and each day I bring three bananas with me. At the end of the day I ride the bananas home and it’s a great way to get around.

If you keep doing it your skull gets stronger. I started doing it in response to compiler errors and now my skull is buff as hell. I’ve got, like, forehead abs up there and I can break just about anything I set my mind to. Those goats are lax in their training and they should be afraid of me.

No you missed the part where I succeed and hate myself anyway

In all of my time here I haven’t seen a single person advocating for forcing disobedient children to eat dirt smh my head such an echo chamber literally 1984

Some say that the universe only exists insofar as it is perceived. This is true, but we are not the observers. All of the world is a grand eye and that eye is spread across itself again and again. We are all but figments in the eye of the world, floaters thinking themselves eyes and seeing nothing. This is all to say that the elf on the shelf is REAL and this image PROVES IT!