I get it. I was young once, and my lizard brain did all the driving. I didn’t pull my head out of my ass until 27, and the pop could be heard around the globe. That actually coincides with the last cognitive development stage, which happens around 26-27. Life before then seems so unbelievably cringeworthy.
The thing, though is that men in general do not bond or mentor each other, generally, or at the very least, we don’t surround ourselves with people who we can learn from, because funni.
Men need to work on helping each other grow. Memes are great. Booze is fun. However, there should be something deeper than context based friendships, and that all starts with being comfortable talking and being somewhat vulnerable with each other, and honest with ourselves about what we are feeling internally.
I would argue that “men don’t bond” if they were raised on the alpha male bullshit you escaped from on the internet. I met my best friend in high school, we went to college together, and then he moved across the country over 10 years ago. We’re both in our early thirties now. But we chat still nearly every weekend, talk about life, boost each other’s spirits, chat politics, hopes, dreams, regrets, give each other advice based on our individual experiences. We never were part of the “kick each other in the balls = friendship” crowd, and while it’s certainly there, I think that saying generally men all feel that way is a bit disingenuous
Nah, that’s a real thing. Usually your finishes its final maturing phase around 25-30. Ofcourse your brain is still developing (and deteriorating) for the rest of your life, but at that point it’s much slower.
Hey so what is this cognitive development that I may have missed out on? I tried googling but nothing comes up. Can you point me to some reading about this? Or some term to search for? Thanks.
It is a period of brain maturation, learning about intimacy and mutual support, intensification of pre-existing friendships, family-oriented socialization, and the attainment of those social skills that are needed for mating and reproduction.
I get it. I was young once, and my lizard brain did all the driving. I didn’t pull my head out of my ass until 27, and the pop could be heard around the globe. That actually coincides with the last cognitive development stage, which happens around 26-27. Life before then seems so unbelievably cringeworthy.
The thing, though is that men in general do not bond or mentor each other, generally, or at the very least, we don’t surround ourselves with people who we can learn from, because funni.
Men need to work on helping each other grow. Memes are great. Booze is fun. However, there should be something deeper than context based friendships, and that all starts with being comfortable talking and being somewhat vulnerable with each other, and honest with ourselves about what we are feeling internally.
I would argue that “men don’t bond” if they were raised on the alpha male bullshit you escaped from on the internet. I met my best friend in high school, we went to college together, and then he moved across the country over 10 years ago. We’re both in our early thirties now. But we chat still nearly every weekend, talk about life, boost each other’s spirits, chat politics, hopes, dreams, regrets, give each other advice based on our individual experiences. We never were part of the “kick each other in the balls = friendship” crowd, and while it’s certainly there, I think that saying generally men all feel that way is a bit disingenuous
Wait, what? I don’t think I got the memo on that one. This isn’t some “manosphere” thing, is it?
Nah, that’s a real thing. Usually your finishes its final maturing phase around 25-30. Ofcourse your brain is still developing (and deteriorating) for the rest of your life, but at that point it’s much slower.
Hey so what is this cognitive development that I may have missed out on? I tried googling but nothing comes up. Can you point me to some reading about this? Or some term to search for? Thanks.
Here’s some review of recent research on the topic: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6970937/
Awesome, thanks!
Trust me when I say I would be the last person to spout shit like that
Sorry fam I didn’t mean it that way, I’ve just learned to be suspicious.