Mmmm, yes; science is most excellent: Ballistic Beef™

Only available for a limited time.

General Mills added unicorn marbits in 2018, so this sounds appropriate!

If you are a trans am you should abstain in the general election. Because you are a car. And cars can’t vote. But I’m sure the supreme court is working on fixing that.

I prefer the phrase ‘giving a dump’, because I sure don’t seem to be taking anything away from the transaction.

Alas I have digressed. I too indulged in the literary expositions of the shampoo bottle. Conditioner only on Fridays.

I have become so desensitized to the festering dumpster sludge media that the window treatment shocks me the most in this picture

I operate in el camino reálity. Miss me with that ranchero and canyonero nonsense.

Yo dawg, we heard you like engine braking so we gave you engine breaking in your engine braking!

Another, there is.

Frakkin Cylons! I knew it!

Now, therefore, as president I shall urge the Congress to enact the Writ of Habeas Dorkus, requiring a person under the influence of cerebral diarrhea to be brought before some type of human greater than 4 and one-half years of age, especially to secure the person’s sufficient mental competence to be able to wipe their own ass without first tuning in to the TV for guidance, specific instruction, and moral support.

It’s just recliner theater, I tell ya!

Please run for congress. Now.

Saw a kid puke in the pool once on a Disney cruise. You shoulda seen those cast members come running in full hazmat suits and shut down the entire deck! A finely tuned machine, like swappin tires at the Indy 500. If Disney ever got into the military-industrial complex they would take over the world. Worth every penny.

If that was the one with the built-in sharpener, that kid was ballin’

Why would one ever need to sharpen crayons? Why you ask? Because reasons!

Put a glide in your stride, and a dip in yo hip, and come on to the mothership

For me it was the guy in slide one with the lil’ sebastian pony tail. Brick man is just the washed up kool-aid man after the royalties ran out and the brain damage kicked it from repeated head trauma (plus diabeetus). Ohh nooo!

Yes, I blink because I want you. To shave off that mullet. Like it’s 1989.

That hideous alien creature on the wing during a storm? Me. That’s me. I saved 19 bucks on my ticket and got TWO bags of peanuts on standby! The peanuts blew away one by one somewhere over Iowa but I had beef jerky backup, as all responsible travelers do.

That guy stuffed into a 1970’s Samsonite in the unpressurized baggage hold? Also me.

One time I mailed myself through USPS. If it fits it ships flat rate!! It hurt when I got drop-kicked onto a porch though. More emotionally than anything else.

Maybe I’m just physically intimidating, or a braggart, but I always get the full can of soda

The legroom may force me to drink it with my knees above my head, but still, chalk up a win for the common man