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Genius!

My family has a veritable forest of 1’ to 3’ fake Christmas trees.

Our cats love it.

“Stocking stuffers” in my home are there to keep the kids occupied when it’s not their turn to open gifts.

Maybe $25 total in a stocking.

Back in my IT support days, IPX routing had a “Count to Infinity” problem when the number of hops between sites went above 15. We used to joke that this made 16 “Infinity”.

Being nerds at the time, we did napkin math to prove the Shakespearian Monkey Quotient was 256cmy (combined monkey years) for “Hamlet”.

Oh, some of them need laughed or yelled at, for certain.

I, however, need continued employment.

Poker face.

No matter what I am thinking internally, it does not show externally. Essential skill for customer service.

I see the raccoon and all I think is this.

Cops and work trucks. Both drive around constantly and eat lunch on the road. My family uses this trick when travelling in the US, it has not let us down.

Plot twist - OP is a cat.