From a tweet in another article on this:

“The NFL Sunday Ticket settlement is around $4,000 to 5,000 a customer per report”

So… Maybe ten years from now former subscribers will get gift cards for sixty eight cents each.

Boof bro will personally take up this case and see to it that a former president is immune from liquor license requirements. HE LIKES BEER!

I’m waiting for a tip prompt from the forced self checkout kiosk at the supermarket.

I almost feel like I’ve read somewhere that it has already happened.

I don’t know why we’re even remotely concerned with some businessmen, well respected in their communities, conducting perfectly reasonable financial transactions when just last week, I saw a BROWN person in an orange grove, taking all the jobs from “the blacks” and forcing them into poverty!

Heavy /s though with use of actual sound bites from our burgeoning overlords.

On the one hand - big boobs, small boobs, big dick, small dick, short, tall, fat, thin, young, old, whatever quality, people have been happily fucking for the entire history of the species. Internet outrage at any given body type as being unacceptable is akin to virtual media eugenics and is stupid.

On the other hand - big boobs, small boobs, big dick, small dick, short, fat, tall, thin, young, old, what quality, I tire of both the media and its detractors telling me that I MUST be arbitrarily aroused by any given person because it satisfies a given narrative. This particular person is not sexually attractive to me not because of body size but because I’m old and she looks like a child to me.

Love who you want to love, fornicate with whichever consenting partner you wish. Take love where you can find it, and be happy when you can attain it.

On an unrelated note, one of my favorite lines came from Barbara Ehreinreich, though I can’t recall which book, and I’m going to heavily paraphrase as I don’t recall the exact quote: “The media was horrified to learn that elderly, wrinkled, fat couples were rolling around in bed together and enjoying it.”

A guy can dream though, right?

This is effectively license to riot in November and January.

My parents have long since passed on, so it’s not even possible. I may end up living with my daughter later down the line. I’m SO single and solitary (by choice) that I’m concerned about going all dementia/stroke/heart attack later on with nobody to tend to me, so I’ll likely lean on her when I’m in my mid to late sixties or so.

She’s getting everything I own, and I should have reasonable retirement funds, so it’s not like I’m going to rely on her financially.

My big mistake was fucking up on getting myself long term care, which I no longer can do unless I get a new job. My employer and I mutually fucked that up when I started at my current job.

Fun quotes from my daughter, around age ten or eleven: “You’re going to be the cranky old man that we grudgingly take on vacation with us.” and “You can always live in my basement.”

And yes, we have discussed this topic. I’m not unilaterally just saying this on the Internet.

Then slap him with a drunk in public and give him an extra day inside for it.

I archived this cancerous bloated paywalled shit show of a website just on principle

https://archive.md/5qN2M

Pretty much

Funny thing, I think back to how batshit that education was, and I’d say it was way more moderate bordering on sensible compared to the horseshit they teach today.

It’s getting worse, not better.

I went to religious school. Graduated thirty four years ago. That list would be mighty long.

To the immigrant thing - I was on vacation a few weeks ago and took five Uber rides. None of the drivers spoke English. I wonder if ride sharing is going the immigrant predator route these days.

For clarification, it didn’t bother me to have non-English speaking drivers. They were all great.

Connecticut penitentiary? A state facility? How are the prisons in Connecticut? The only thing I know about the state is that they have their own form of pizza though I have no clue what that form is.

I can’t tell if that’s a joke or a real question.

If it’s a real question, nips in this case refers to those little bottles of alcohol you would get on an airplane. They’re readily available in liquor stores here. Common purchase for the chemically dependent alcoholic who just needs a quick fix.

I’ve already had this talk with my daughter. I’m not presently ill or anything, but I see this as the new American version of estate planning.

Somehow, I’ve managed to build up a few meager assets to leave to my daughter and I’ll be damned if I let American healthcare take it all.

(And please refrain from bringing up misinformed statements on estate tax. I’m a tax accountant. I’m more astute on that stuff than most of the population, and my little pile of shiny trinkets is well below any threshold for any of that to kick in)

Nah. In Texas all she has to do is say that God told her to do it, and she’ll get a couple years of taking drugs in a hospital.

The exception is Taylor Parker because she killed an _unborn child, and that’s a damn step too far.

Shithead maga bleeding a nonprofit dry example aside, this is a good (albeit extreme) illustration of why I’m generally hesitant to give to any large charity.

You can pull their tax returns up online (form 990) and see where the money goes. Too often, it all goes to executive salaries and marketing with some token single digit percentage going to actual charitable work that may or may not be doing any actual good.

Whoa there pal.

What part of driving pickup trucks with giant tires through the mud while drinking cases of ~~bud light ~~ Modelo and wearing jorts and a tank top with a picture of Rambo Trump firing footballs from a grenade launcher isn’t culture?

I remember getting my Texas instruments financial calculator circa 2009 for probably fifty dollars or so.

The professor told us that at the time, production costs for my fifty dollar calculator were roughly a dollar.

On the bright side, I’ll bring that thing in whenever I buy a car and it truly fucks with the whole “what kind of payment are you looking for” routine they do. (Though these days, I’m more likely to bring a laptop with Excel. Same idea, but faster and better visuals)