The second last time I went to a dentist, he told me I had been brushing my teeth wrong. Cool, bought the TeethIoniser5000 plus recommended toothpaste from his suggestion.

Last time I went to the dentist, he told me that I was still brushing my teeth wrong. “But the last guy?”

“Wrong. He was wrong.”

Every fucking dentist has told me whatever way I brush my teeth, I’m doing it wrong, so fuck them. Now I just use my finger.

Don’t do that, as I have one tooth left I use to open cans.

A fellow wonk, I see. “They burn to the fucking ground, Eddie”

I’m genuinely thankful you’ve made it this obvious how much of a fucking moron you are as I can block you immediately and get on with my day.