🎶🎵 Welcome to my shop! Let me trim your mop! Let me shave your crop! DAINtily! 🎵🎶

“Hey Ross, when you were yelling ‘piv-AT piv-AT,’ what did you mean?”

“Taylor Hanson is a boy?!? OH GAWD…!”

Fuckin’ A.

I ask “why” every time I’m reminded Imagine Dragons exist, too.

Applicable Carlin quotes:

“If you’re pre-born, you’re fine. If you’re preschool, your fucked.”

“Conservatives like live babies because they grow up to be dead soldiers.”

And finally “You ever notice how these ‘pro-life’ dicks are people you’d never wanna fuck in the first place?!”

"The unborn are a convenient group of people to advocate for. They never make demands of you; they are morally uncomplicated, unlike the incarcerated, addicted, or the chronically poor; they don’t resent your condescension or complain that you are not politically correct; unlike widows, they don’t ask you to question patriarchy; unlike orphans, they don’t need money, education, or childcare; unlike aliens, they don’t bring all that racial, cultural, and religious baggage that you dislike; they allow you to feel good about yourself without any work at creating or maintaining relationships; and when they are born, you can forget about them, because they cease to be unborn. You can love the unborn and advocate for them without substantially challenging your own wealth, power, or privilege, without re-imagining social structures, apologizing, or making reparations to anyone. They are, in short, the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus, but actually dislike people who breathe. Prisoners? Immigrants? The sick? The poor? Widows? Orphans? All the groups that are specifically mentioned in the Bible? They all get thrown under the bus for the unborn.”

• Pastor David Barnhart

“We’re so pro-life we’ll fucking KILL YOU to prove it!”

Hey Luxembourg, you broke it, you bought it! She’s YOUR fucking problem now! AHAHAHA!

scene

No? Still in this timeline? …fuck.

Full-on mask off, now. Owner class protecting owner class, nothing to see here. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Move along.

Yes, it is.

I used to think it was just a movie that happened during Christmas, but it wasn’t a Christmas movie. I changed my mind when it was pointed out that the movie wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t Christmas. He was visiting his family for Christmas. It’s not a typical Christmas movie, but it is a Christmas movie.

My $.02

“I love the uneducated!”

Between this story and the Alex Jones story, I’m beginning to think judges should also… well, i can’t say what i think should happen and not violate ToS…

14 million is 4% of 345 million (~American population.) Yes, 96% of America thought he wasn’t gonna run again.

Did Putin tell Moscow Mitch to say that? Was it Monsanto? Or, did he have his own thought for once?

Add in hysterical, blood-vessel-throbbing shrieks at the person in front, and you’ve just described my mom’s driving. It’s terrifying to ride anywhere with her.

You’re right, he never said the exact words. But all of America was under the impression he was gonna step back. He never used the direct words to dispell that either. I’m not alone in feeling betrayed by Biden.

I used to work in a pizza place, and the head cook was from Mexico working on his citizenship. He helped me with my Spanish, and I’d help him with his English. One day, we discovered that jokes was a good way to discover any loss in translations, so jokes became our preferred method of conversation.

One day he said he’s got a great joke, but he’s not sure if it’ll work in English, so he’s asks to tell me if it works. I tell him to hit me. The joke:

A guy and his girlfriend have been together long enough to move in with each other. Being a new(ish) couple, they’re still pretty frisky. Every time they’re finished and basking in the after glow, she plays with his junk, just gently kneading the balls in their sack. After a few months, he asks her why does she always play with his balls afterwards. She looks him dead in the eye with a Mona Lisa smile, gently kisses his lips and whispers in his ear “because i miss mine.”

He asked if the joke works in English. When i quit laughing, i said it does. That was 2006, and it’s still one of my favorite jokes to this day.

I’m seeing this meme get as much airtime as the whole “I’m a Navy seal” copypasta, and I’m not complaining.

Are you a xenomorph…?