You mean the harness, or the halfling?

DM: Trying his best to write an emotional moment

Player: I play the flute while I loot the dead kid’s body

“Okay guys, you brought this onto yourselves… For death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth!”

Hourglass of Lost Chances
Wondrous item, legendary (requires attunement)

This magical hourglass, crafted from a material more resilient than steel yet as transparent as glass, contains sand that remains curiously still and does not flow.

While you have the Hourglass on your person, you can utter its command word as an action to activate it. Upon activation, the sand begins to flow from one bulb to the other, a process that continues unabated even if you turn the Hourglass upside down.

While you have the active Hourglass on your person, you can utter its command word again as an action. Doing so reverts the timeline to the moment you activated it. Every event, including death, is undone, but all creatures across the multiverse retain their memories of what transpired during that timeframe. However, any creature that was not within a 1-mile radius of you at any moment while the Hourglass was active experiences this as a sense of déjà vu.

The Hourglass becomes inactive 10 minutes after activation or immediately after you use it to revert the timeline. Once deactivated, it cannot be activated again for the next 7 days.

(Edit for clarity)

I see no borders from up here my modded console.

As a short person, I found this guide very useful to face problems that arise in my day-to-day life.

There’s a lot of great stuff here, but for some reason the thing that completely broke me is having “Desert Island”, a small isle with nothing but sand and a single palm tree, in the middle of lush, green islands.

I’m sure that, if a river was drawn into this map, it would be a ten-headed abomination originating from nothing, going uphill through the mountains, and connecting one side of the ocean to the other.

(Also “Nopon” being an almost 1:1 transposition of Japan, but “Retro Tokyo” is in the wrong place lmao)

What’s Marut?

My man invented time travel to buy a PS5, but alas, it didn’t work.

When I read of historical conquerors and dictators, I always wonder where the heck do they get their drive to do all that.

Like, I struggle to wake up on mondays, spend wednesdays hoping that the weekend comes soon, and on saturday I lay on the sofa and do nothing for 24 hours straight.

This guy invaded a foreign land he didn’t need just because he felt barely offended by the words of its inhabitants. He should’ve appreciated the humour and moved on imo, but maybe that’s just me.

Still the most glorious piece of homebrew I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

Still haven’t been able to play it because life is a bitch.

There are two types of dnd players.

Those who want to live the fantasy of being able to afford rent.

And those who want to fuck monsters.

That can only be possible when the player knows that slavery is evil, but is role-playing a character who doesn’t know it/has never really thought about it.

But the bit about wanting to be a good slave owner like a pre-civil war slaver, and that someone can only be good or bad relative to their culture, implies that it was said out of character. The fact that a person really believes that there is a difference between good and bad slave owners (and specifically mentioned the pre-civil war era, lol) is a massive red flag.

First of all, it’s stupid: just because slavery exists in your society, you don’t need to be a slaver. Good people can exist in a corrupt society as well. If they didn’t, we’d still have slavery today. Heck, one of the most famous DnD characters is a dark elf who cut ties with his people to fight for the Good (Drizz’t). If slavers are brought up in a good campaign, the obvious conclusion would be to stop them, not to take part in the evil system.

There’s also the fact that, if the campaign is specifically asking for good-aligned characters, nobody would expect someone to “well, akshually slavery can be good” them. Like, maybe it is (it’s not), but you’re explicitly not playing a good character, so why are you doing that? Join any other group out there. This group probably doesn’t want you to shift on them the burden of discussing why drowning puppies in the well is a bad behaviour, while you’re drowning those puppies.

I could also point out that (1) the fact that he doubled and tripled down on his intention of owning slaves, and quit the table because of it, is kind of moronic, and (2) depicting the girl of the party specifically as a “screaming queen” rings of misogyny as well.

Also, I’m not really going to give the benefit of the doubt to someone whose idea of a good character is a cosplay of a pre-civil war south american slave owner.

Back in the time of Reddit, I saw someone complaining because, after joining a table that expressively required only good-aligned characters, he couldn’t buy slaves at the market.

His logic was that slavery is not morally wrong by itself, and that he would treat the slave well.

He got tons of upvotes for that one, and I lost yet another small speck of trust in humanity.

EDIT: Ha! I still had the screenshot saved somewhere. Now you too can rejoice in hearing sane and balanced argumentations such as “I planned to be a good owner to them, like a good person in the pre-civil war era might do”. You’re welcome.

At least I misremembered the number of upvotes. He got a few, but not many (although, because of how Reddit works, it’s not possible to separate upvotes from downvotes, so he could’ve gotten a lot of downvotes and an even greater number of upvotes). Granted, the fact that that comment was in the positive still makes me sad…

Poor C’tun Aket, it’s not their fault they were born ugly. Warlocks always ask them “Where’s my spell slot?”, but nobody asks them “we’ll bang, okay?”

Unless anyone in your party is able to count up to two, which is the number of spell slots you have until you reach level 11…

This is my current campaign.

One of my party members is the last survivor of a noble family who got murdered by an usurper, the other is a paladin who swore vengeance against a demonic cult, and the other is a girl who sold her soul to obtain enough power to get retribution against the one who killed her entire family.

And then there’s me, a goofy dude who has spent a peaceful life as a city guard and is actually pretty chill and looking forward to inheriting his family’s shop.