You just do you. I think when people say “bad” they generally mean preachy. That is not most vegans. Just live your life, eat what you want, bring good food to potlucks so that you know you’ll have something.

I will add that mentioning it is not preachy, if you get an overreaction it’s not you. I am omnivorous and would want someone to tell me before a party or outing so that I don’t accidentally invite them to a steakhouse or BBQ joint. I often make vegan food for potlucks just because it’s sort of a baseline, most everyone can eat it.

I was vegan for about 8 years. I just don’t bring it up often. I don’t tell people I am a vegetarian. It’s not a bragging point. It’s just one part of who I am. Don’t make it your whole identity.

“What makes a “good vegan”, and how can I be one?”

huh… not eating/consuming animal-related products?

accept the fact that, even if it works for you, not everyone would be willing to switch to that lifestyle. And that’s ok!

I don’t think there are good arguments for eating meat, and I think people get mad at vegans because of the cognitive dissonance. “If eating meat is bad, and I eat meat, then I’m bad. But I’m not bad! They must be bad! They suck!”

Sometimes you see this with other things. Like if someone walks or takes a bike instead of driving for the environment. “If driving is bad for the environment, and I do a lot of driving, I’m doing bad. But I’m a good person! Fuck them for making me feel bad!”

Most people are just large children.

Sometimes people try to justify eating meat. Some reasons are more defensible than others. Someone with severe allergies might have trouble getting nutrition from vegan options. Someone saying “but I enjoy it” is acting like a child.

In short, most people are operating mostly on emotional levels. Facts don’t really matter. Feelings drive them. I think this is the root of most of our problems, honestly, that people can’t put aside their emotions.

Personally, I try to minimize how much meat I eat, but I’m okay with accepting sometimes I do bad things.

Hey, glad you want to be a considerate, conscientious vegan! You won’t upset anyone as long as you follow these simple rules:

1. Never admit that you are vegan
2. Never talk about veganism
3. When people are talking about meat, eagerly participate
4. Do not eat visibly vegan food in public
5. If offered meat or cheese, eat it without protest
6. Do not cook vegan food if serving others
7. When you see a cow, remark out loud how you want to eat it

That’s about all you need to know to be one of the Good Vegans. Hope this helps!

You can’t really be a good vegan to people who hate vegans: the fact that they’re assholes is 100% on them and 0% on you.

Their hate of vegans comes from their own hangups. I imagine it’s one or more of:

1. Their own uncomfortable feelings around eating animal products, which you are reminding them of.
2. They think that vegans think that they’re “better than them,” and they resent vegans for it.
3. Some weird toxic masculinity-adjacent thing.
4. They just hate anything & everything that isn’t normal/consensus, for whatever reason.

Maybe there are other hangups as well; those are what immediately come to mind.

Respond to right wing reactionaries who go out of their way to complain about vegans simply with “😇💌Triggered”

There. Now you are the Good Vegan™️

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My sister in law is vegan. She is the most normal person about it I’ve ever met. She doesn’t talk about it unless it comes up in conversation in a normal way.

She doesn’t proclaim it, because its part of who she is it isn’t the whole of who she is. She also understands that other people’s choices are theirs and she doesn’t need to convert them, or defend her own position.

When we have family gatherings, we try to accommodate with food offerings, but she says we don’t need to and always brings her own food and extra to share. This is important because she’s self sufficient and doesn’t expect anybody to adjust their life to match her choices. Likewise, between diets and allergies we as a family just always ensure people know what is in what.

These are just simple examples. My point being, I don’t think of her as vegan. I think of her as my sister in law. Be a normal person and its all good. If its not, then that’s not on you. There are jerk vegans and jerk non-vegans. Don’t be a jerk. Don’t tolerate jerks in return.

The same way you be a “good religious person” - don’t fucking proselytize. It’s your choice, and that’s great, but you don’t need to force it onto others.

Yeah I think “evangelical vegans” or “bad vegans” are a sort of caricature made for comedians and then everyone else to punch down on. Sure annoying vegans exist, and so do annoying meat eating people, but diet isn’t necessarily why these people are annoying.

I imagine there’s also an element of defensiveness from meat eaters as well. Even reasonably stating “I don’t eat meat because of the cruelty in the industry and the negative environmental impacts” is implicitly challenging a meat eater to consider those things, which they likely never have. And being faced with the certainty that the vegan is making that statement (the cruelty of the industry and environmental impacts are objective), the meat eater is possibly going to feel like they are being judged or attacked.

I’m not vegan, but I find it absolutely wild that anyone thinks being kind of annoying sometimes comes anywhere near the level of moral or ethical bankruptcy involved in being complicit in the mass torture of animals for the sake of convenience. Like, okay, yeah, it’s not like we have the option of just deciding on behalf of powerful capitalists to just end factory farming. But deciding to at least try not to participate in it by changing your diet is at least something.

Don’t worry about being a “good vegan” if that means having to tiptoe around the fact that the rest of us fuel immense suffering both monetarily and through social normalization. You’re trying, and that’s great.

I know a lot o vegans, they are all chill. On their daily life, to be vegan is a a non-issue, for themselves and others.

On social events we generally have some extra options to accommodate them, and that’s it.

So, for yourself, you probably need to do some planning ahead to be sure that the place where you are going will have options, or, if the event will be on someone’s house, check with the host if they will offer (or if you can bring) something suitable for you.

If you are not trying to force other people to live your lifestyle, guilt-trip them or show yourself as moral superior to others, them you already are a “good vegan”.

And, if you want to invite people to be like you, do it by offering/showing tasty animal-free food to your guests as an option.

Honestly I don’t care what you want to eat. It’s your body, you can shove whatever you like into it.

Where vegans become a problem is where they’re being evangelical about their beliefs and trying to force their audience to feel the same shock and horror as they feel when contemplating the meat industry. If all I hear from you is restricted to when I offer you food and ask if you have any dietary requirements, and is of the form “I’m vegan”, that’s absolutely fine. If we’re friends I’ll adjust the menu for you, although you might have to accept it’s only your plate that gets veganified.

You going “eww” and talking about “rotting corpses” or whatever is where it becomes a problem. If I’ve asked, obviously I’ve brought your response upon myself but you should still tone it down for the non-vegans. “I’ve looked into the meat industry and I didn’t like what I saw” would be a good first response; make sure not to release any gory details unless people are really pressing you for that level of detail.

That said, none of this is based on actual experience of offensively evangelical vegans. I’ve heard they exist but haven’t met one yet. I’ve known some people for quite a while before finding out they’re vegan, veggie or whatever.