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I once got my blue and purple lightsabers mixed up and accidentally struck them all down not just the men but the woman and children and motherfuckers too.
Using a peeling knife for vegetables is criminal.
Most of these knives are silly, A chef’s knife will do 99% of all cutting, chopping and slicing tasks in a kitchen. I would go as far as to say that knife sets are a scam.
You don’t do much in a kitchen, do you? Make bread slices with a bread knife is much easier than with a chef’s knife. Putting butter on a bread is much easier with a butter knife. Also you can’t accidentally cut yourself with it.
But keep cutting your cheese with a chef’s knife. Everybody chooses their own torture.
Not to mention some higher quality knives can break cutting some harder cheeses. Would not want that to happen.
I don’t do much in a kitchen, if I did I’d have a chef’s knife. I’m a weirdo though, so what I do and what I know are best practices frequently don’t line up.
To counter your examples though:
Bread? pre-sliced.
Cheese? pre-shredded.
Butter? melt and pour it baby.
So far I didn’t need a knife at all.
Bread? pre-sliced.
Cheese? pre-shredded.
Why? They’ll lose their flavor! Only cut a slice right before you eat it.
Butter? melt and pour it baby.
For what?
for the bread and cheese, I’m not a foodie. I’ll get medium ish quality stuff at the grocery store, and it exceeds my expectations.
for the butter, come on, its butter. butter is love, butter is life.
Butter? melt and pour it baby.
Let me know how your biscuits turn out.
fucking delicious
Are they nice and flakey?
damn skippy
“Press X to doubt”
Yeah, on second thought you should stay away from kitchens.
Where’s the poop knife?
Blue saber is just the saber of equality 😌
Vader being woke as shit. Expect an executive order to ban Star Wars.
I dare you, I double dare you, say “the Senate” one more time!
If Jango was a motherfucker then he wouldn’t have needed to clone himself.
Pizzas are cut with scissors… There no comparison, even the shitty pizza slicer will make a mess.
Sammy J not being allowed to say motherfucker in star wars must have been painful for him. I know it was painful for me.
I like how he almost got one in the MCU
Motherfu✨✨
Second row, middle: fart knife
Why?
Why not?
I’ve never heard of a “fart knife”. Is it a variant of a poop knife?
It’s a play on the euphemism for farting “cut the cheese”
Thanks for reminding me of the poop knife, btw 😄
the euphemism for farting “cut the cheese”
Oh, thanks for explaining :) Probably should have been able to figure that one out.
No worries 🙂
I’ve had a scene for a horror novel bumping about in my head for a while:
Guy breaks into a house late at night, wearing a mask but unarmed, goes to the kitchen to grab a kitchen knife with which to subdue the elderly couple living there (he knows because he’s cased the place).
He’s surprised by the elderly woman who’s suffering from insomnia, but he’s closer to the knife block, so he has the upper hand, and he grabs the closest knife on the block.
Woman: After a brief moment of initial shock, she lifts her kettle from the burner. ‘Are you planning to kill me with a paring knife?‘.
The startled home invader looks at his knife, sets it down, and grabs a larger knife.
Woman: ‘That’s a bread knife.’ She pours her tea. ‘Would you like to try again? Look for one that’s not serrated.’
Guy drops the bread knife, tentatively lifting knives from the block.
Woman: ‘Vegetable knife, poor choice. Keep going. Fish knife, okay, but not the best. How would you like to kill me? Are we talking stabbing or chopping? It makes a difference.’
The scene goes on from there.
“Is that Bantha ham processed? If it’s processed I don’t want it.”
"Ma’am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of Bantha ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several fearful banthas, emulsified in bacta, liquefied in rage, Kessel runned, strained, Droid lasered and ultimately inexorably joined with a Beskar press in an unholy meat obelisk full of suffering.
The force had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that the Jedi are either impotent to alter the universe as the force wills it, or ignorant to the horrors taking place through the Galaxy.
This prism of Bantha is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of sentients all around contempt for the natural order and their craving for the dark side. It is hubris manifest."
“We also have a low midi-chlorian variety if you would prefer that.”
