Your local bi(polar) schizo fluffernutter.

Previous profile under the same name over at lemmy.one

  • 2 Posts
  • 11 Comments
Joined 6 months ago
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Cake day: December 30th, 2023

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  • Gen Z here.
    Do people really not have wallets now? There’s so much I can’t carry without a wallet, most importantly my ID. Am I expected to just put that loose in my pockets or bag?
    And like, sometimes I’m forced to carry cash for one reason or another. I need a space place to put that.
    I’m guessing it’s just because the majority of my generation isn’t old enough to be regularly encountering these issues. I’m 100% certain it’ll change as they age the way I was forced to.





  • As far as sexual reasons go, I don’t really need that myself. I’m not exactly asexual, I’m sexually attracted to people, I just find it’s easy enough to take care of that need without a partner.

    Losing friends to relationships though, I haven’t ever had that happen. I just become friends with their partner too and absorb them into my friend group.

    Although I found out that way through some of them that apparently I give off a really intimidating aura. Apparently I give off the vibes of “the popular girl who refuses to associate herself with the peasants” as somebody said. They tend to be pretty shocked I had any interest in being friends with them at all.


  • I can see that perspective, and maybe subconsciously it is that stability I’m looking for, especially because I’ve gone through 2 separate traumatic events that resulted in me losing every friend I had, the second, the only person who stayed with me was my ex, who I was dating at the time.

    I guess though I kinda feel like I have achieved some level of stability even without a relationship. That ex I just mentioned is still a good friend, and he and his girlfriend talk constantly about trying to move closer to me, because at this point they both consider me more of family than just a friend.

    And it’s like that for most of my close friends. I’ve got some that come and go, but my tightknit inner circle seems here to stay at least, at least for a very long time. I can see the appeal of wanting somebody to be there for my entire life though. Granted, the only people I can think of that I want that out of are the friends I already have, but on account of the fact that my friend group is practically composed purely of exs and people who’ve rejected me romantically already, it seems I’ll have to look elsewhere. Although that’s kind of a sad prospect to me, that I don’t get to choose any of them to stay by my side forever.




  • It is in fact really easy to tell the difference, you just hear more about the times people make the mistake because it’s not noteworthy when somebody goes “that guy’s just staring off into space” and is right. You also likely have a bigger emotional reaction, assuming you’re a guy, to a woman mistakenly thinking a guy is staring at her and being wrong than you do the knowledge that women get stared at a lot, so it makes the first seem like it’s happening more often.
    I’ve lived on both sides (trans) and can tell you I didn’t realize it was this common to get really obviously stared at by older men. And the older they are the more likely they are to do it, which is lucky, because I’m much less afraid of a 70 year old man doing anything to me than a 20-40 year old. I find the only thing I can do in that situation is to avoid looking them directly in the eyes, because they take that as a sign to approach.


  • I don’t know why, but the support I get from people who can’t understand but still want to help means the most to me.

    Luckily, I’ve had a load of messages from a million people on just about every platform I knew anybody on filled with support and encouragement. Everybody’s making really sure I don’t feel unloved.


  • Bad.

    My wife and I broke up several days ago. We were never legally married, and I suppose that makes it a lot easier, but still not easy.
    We both had severe emotional control issues, for different reasons. I tried countless meds to help, and keep myself, and us, together. Tried therapy. But in the end, more often than not, there was no voice of reason in our relationship. We could reach points where we’d go a month or so without fighting, but it’d always happen again some day.
    Finally, at a time where we were both calm and unemotional, we came to the decision that we needed to work on ourselves separately. When the consequences of our mental illness were not just hurting ourselves, but each other, it was just too hard to cope with.
    We’re still friends. We’re still supporting each other, but I feel like I’ve lost the best thing I’ve ever had in my life and it’s my fault. I’m happy that she no longer has to feel chained down by my angry outbursts, my constant panic attacks, and wondering every day if I’m still going to be with her tomorrow, but I wish none of those things existed in the first place, so we could be happy together.

    On top of all this, the catalyst for making this decision in the first place was that there was a new guy, who was very interested in me. When he found out I was already taken, he tried to back off, but… I guess now my ex-wife encouraged him to keep going. We’d been open to the idea of polyamory from the beginning of our relationship, so that’s how we were hoping it would go. Unfortunately, it turned out he couldn’t be comfortable with polyamory, and wanted an exclusive relationship.
    And that’s when we suddenly realized that there was a choice. I could try to stay with her, hoping one day things would get better, or find a new relationship and hope it doesn’t end the same way. We realized quickly that the second was the only healthy option, even if we really, really didn’t want that.

    And now, several days later, this new guy is already telling me he’s in love with me. He said it was love at first sight for him. I told him I’m going to need a long time before I can even consider anybody else romantically, and he’s told me he’s willing to wait however long it takes, but the concept scares me.
    My last relationship ended largely because of emotional and psychological problems that feel insurmountable. I’m terrified if this goes anywhere that I’m going to screw it up the exact same way.

    I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve checked up on my ex a few times, and it feels like she’s handling this better than I am. At the very least, she’ll survive, and that makes me happy. I was friends with her for a long time before we even started dating, and I’m just really hoping I can learn to see her that way again. But this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with emotionally and I don’t feel like I’ll survive, even if I know consciously that I will get through it.